See, you DO have enough ties.

So for some reason I counted my shirts, pants, and ties the other day.  I felt like I was wearing the same thing over and over again, but I have so much to choose from — why the repetition?  So I decided recently to put all my shirts on the left of my closet, and after I wore one, put it on the right, so it would not be worn again until I make it through my whole shirt wardrobe.

But this didn’t satisfy me, apparently.  As I was in the shower this morning, I thought – I wonder how many days I could do without repeating?  Not counting shoes, socks, or underwear…I’m sure I could go in virtually indefinitely if I factored those into the equation.  Anyway, because it’s what I do, I remembered my days-old count of different types of clothing.  11 pairs of pants (not counting jeans — casual Fridays, summers when I wear shorts, sweatpant days, etc…would throw a HUGE number of issues into the problem), 30 (long-sleeved button-down) shirts, 42 ties.  I did a little mental math, but confirmed an exact answer when I got out of the shower.  Holy crap, 13,860 outfits.  Math people can’t math outfits anyway right — even though it’s just different wavelengths of light that make color appealing — but let’s assume I have no idea which ties “go” with which shirts and pants.  So without taking fashion into account, I could go roughly 38 years without repeating an outfit.  If I never EVER wear jeans, shorts, short-sleeves shirts, sweaters, etc…

So keep this in mind as you decide to buy me a clever math tie…one extra tie buys me about 11 months’ worth of new outfits.  How about a new pair of pants instead — 3 and a half years!  If ever there was incentive to keep myself in the exact same shape I’m in now it’s this: I don’t want to have to buy 38 years’ worth of clothing all over again!